Reflections 2: Boy oh boy

“Hopeless is hopeless, and don’t ever think that it ain’t”

Tripwire, Lee Child

Boy oh Boy, published by Pearson Education Australia, is authored by Dr Tim Hawkes.

That 'Hopeless expression' maybe one of the catchphrases in the novel but for a boy to not despair then hope needs to reside somewhere.  Boys need hope. When things go wrong, mistakes are made and even justifiable blame is apportioned boys still need hope.

“What is also important is that having suggested the blame and diagnosed the origin of the problem, the boy must be left feeling he is valued, safe and possessed of the necessary skill and inclination to avoid the mistake again.”

Dr Tim Hawkes

So what drives a boy to learn?

• He must be  encouraged to learn.
• Believe in a future that requires learning.
• Believe in his teachers.

But what discourages learning, beyond the opposite of the aforementioned?

It is the boy’s self-esteem. Or there lack of. If a boy is continually told he has behavioural issues or his thoughts and ideas are substandard then this will foster a negative self-image, which in term hinders long term self-esteem; which will prevent the brain from furthering knowledge and understanding. 

Parents, caregivers and teachers must give as much affirmation as possible but Dr Tim Hawkes warns against ungrounded optimism or care-free praising as the boy will see through it eventually and no longer lean on that person’s judgement again.

In short we must blame boys where blame is true and necessary. We give boys a hope and future for improvement and growth. 

Further viewing and food for thought:

Reflections 1: Boy oh Boy

Boy oh Boy, published by Pearson Education Australia, is authored by Dr Tim Hawkes.

This book is a practical and entertaining resource for those who wish to understand the needs of boys and how best to meet those needs. Using a refreshing mix of common sense and scholarly research, Boy oh Boy gives hope and inspiration to those interested in helping boys.

Over the coming weeks I will be reflecting here on my reading of this publication. I am not intending on copying large sections out but will identify, through quotes, a few ideas it may raise and then I will seek to comment upon it in light of my own practise and the boarder context of the schools I am working in.

Boy oh Boy

In the introduction Hawkes seeks to highlight the importance of a quality teacher. The list is as follows:

A quality teacher can:

• laugh with a boy.
• paint a great picture in the mind of a boy.
• growl while still maintaining a sense that the boy is valued.

My reflection

There has been a shift in this post-feminist world where boys should not act out. That they should know there place and continuously maintain a proper and right demeanour. However, I am of the opinion that there is a certain amount of 'boys will be boys' that should be seen as just that. I'm not saying that it should be the excuse for poor behaviour, rudeness or acts of violence. But each action should be seen in the context of the peer group the boy exists in.

A push is not merely a push. Depending on the context it could reflect a boy's frustration with continues verbal abuse. It could the roughness of friends playing together. It could be a single act within a hundred that is part of the pattern of bullying. Context is everything. I believe that we need to understand the lives of boys and boyhood as best we can to become better teachers.

• Can we laugh with a boy? Are we permitted?
• How can we 'paint great pictures in our boys' minds?
• And growling? So often we do this to dominate, thinking that boys need to know submission but really they are needing to be respected. The behaviour needs to distanced for the person. So the boy can see the behaviour not as a fundamental floor in their personality but rather something that can be addressed and corrected.